July 25th, 2023
How do I know if I should continue to date?
The After Date Checklist
This checklist is helpful to determine the next steps with this relationship. It should help clarify how you enjoyed and what you learned and if you gave it your best shot. If you did all these things and feel there is potential and more to explore, it’s a yes. If you did all these things and really don’t feel it’s a match, then it may be time for a no. If you are still unclear then it may be helpful to talk it over with someone you trust and respect.
The After Date Checklist
- Describe your overall experience of this date?
- How do you think your date would rate their overall experience?
- List 2-3 new things you appreciate about your date.
- List 2-3 ways you are finding relatability with your date.
- How did you show your date that you are curious and caring towards her/him?
- What did you do on the date to be your own primary caretaker?
- What are some things that you want to learn more about on the next date(s)?
- What are some options of how to find out more about those things?
- If the next date went better, what would the date feel like, what would the date look like?
Here is an example of how to fill this checklist out:
The After Date Checklist Example
- Describe your overall experience of this date?
I enjoyed the date and conversation flowed
- How do you think your date would rate their overall experience?
She seemed to have a good time, she was smiling and asking questions
- List 2-3 new things you appreciate about your date.
She likes to hike, she enjoys baking, she has a good relationship with her older sister
- List 2-3 ways you are finding relatability with your date.
We both work hard in our professions, we both have good friends, we both like to read in our free time
- How did you show your date that you are curious and caring towards them?
I looked her in the eye and smiled at her when she was sharing, I checked in with her before I asked a deeper more personal question, I listened to learn about her business she is working on, I shared a more personal story about something that happened at work
- What did you do on the date to be your own primary caretaker?
I found we had some awkward moments and I reminded myself that this doesn’t make me a bad dater or person and quiet moments are normal and most probably one of us will start a topic soon. I also keep the dating game in my car to pull out when needed.
- What are some things that you want to learn more about on the next date(s)?
She mentioned she is closer with some siblings and I was curious about her family relationships. She mentioned she is always punctual and I tend to be late a lot,I want to bring it up at a later point, what does she do for fun
- What are some options of how to find out more about those things?
The next time I run a few minutes late, I can apologize and ask her how she feels about someone who runs a few minutes late and I can share how it impacts my life, I can share about my relationships with my family and ask more about her, I can plan a fun date or ask her what she likes to do
- If the next date went better, what would the date feel like, what would the date look like?
I would learn more new things about her, we would be laughing and conversation flowing more, I would have made a joke about me dreading the awkward pauses, I would be the one to share first so she can feel comfortable to share back
Definitely a yes for another date !!!
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